The following indicators can help you determine if a loved one is a victim of abuse:

Helplessness
A one-sided relationship develops where one partner maintains all of the control. The dominant partner is often quick to belittle the weaker partner and will even publicly degrade the weaker partner.

Anxiety
The abuser offers no consistency or reassurance in his/her actions. The abuser will often react unpredictably causing the abused partner anxiety in deciding what to say or do. Often the triggers of abusing remarks or actions change with the abusers mood, which provides an unstable environment where any word or action has the potential to spark a negative response.

Hostility
The abused person often mirrors the hostility displayed by the abuser. The victim will match the levels of aggression, anger and irritability he/she receives and will either outwardly express these emotions or internalize them, often expressing anger toward, or confusion about, the abuser. The victim's body language may dramatically change in the presence of the abuser – he/she may bristle around the abuser, become moody or glare at the abuser with disapproval.

Loss of Self-Esteem
The abused person starts to devalue his/her self worth as he/she further succumbs to the hurtfulness imposed by the abuser. The victim begins to blame himself/herself for the abuse when self-esteem is lost, which forces him/her to stay in the abusive relationship. A victim of abuse will often try to "fix" the perceived problem and then experience further loss of esteem when the abuse continues despite efforts to eliminate it.

Hopelessness
The abused person tries in vain to initiate a change in the abuse pattern. The abuser ignores all requests for a change in behavior and will often dismiss altogether that there is anything wrong. This deters the victim from gaining control to improve the situation and further solidifies the abuser's destructive dominance.

Jealousy
The abuser becomes jealous when the vulnerable adult spends time with family and will often tell the victim that his/her jealousy is a sign of love and concern. Jealousy, however, has nothing to do with love; it's a sign of possessiveness and lack of trust.

Isolation
An abusive person will try to cut the victim off from all resources, especially family. The abuser constantly criticizes the people who support the vulnerable adult in an effort to undermine the victim's trust in family and friends. The victim feels being with his/her family is "more trouble than it's worth" because his/her abuser becomes extremely jealous.

Controlling behavior
An abuser will become angry when the victim doesn't listen to his/her advice. The abuser may control all of the money and may even require the victim to ask permission to leave the house or use the phone. At first, an abuser will explain that his/her controlling behavior is motivated out of concern for the victim's safety or the need to make good decisions. Rather than expressing concern for the victim, controlling behavior shows a deep lack of respect for the victim. It fulfills the need of the abuser to dominate rather than fulfilling the needs of the victim.

Lack of sensitivity
An abusive person may show lack of tolerance for children and may expect children to do things beyond their ability. Insensitivity to children is common in abusers because abusive people are generally not considerate of the feelings of others.

Verbal abuse
An abusive person will say things that are cruel and hurtful. The abuser wants the victim to become dependent and will try to undermine the victim's self-confidence by making fun of, demeaning or embarrassing him/her.

Sudden mood swings
An abuser is often extremely moody and prone to unexpected explosions of anger. Many victims think their abuser has a mental disorder because one minute the abuser is nice, and the next he/she is exploding.

Any force or threat of force during an argument
An abuser may physically restrain a vulnerable adult from leaving a room or restrain others from gaining access to the vulnerable adult. He/she may hold the victim down or against the wall, saying something like, "You are going to listen to me." This is a form of control and is an indication that the abuser is willing to use force to maintain control over the victim. In abusive relationships, violence frequently escalates. It may begin with a push or a slap but can become much more violent.

Lack of accountability
Abusive people do not hold themselves accountable for the abuse they commit and rarely take responsibility for their actions.