America's population is aging. The leading edge of the 78 million baby boomers — those born between 1946 and 1964 — are heading toward retirement and becoming the "young old." According to the Census Bureau, the number of people ages 65 to 74 will grow 107 percent by 2030.

Additionally, the concept of "family" has changed and is creating a powerful societal shift that will alter the face of care giving. Boomers have chosen to divorce, cohabit, remarry and create stepfamilies. Many also choose to remain single or to marry and not have children. According to the "Baby Boomers Approach 60" study conducted by the Pew Research Center, 38 percent of all boomers have been divorced. Additionally, mounting research shows that divorce and blended families tend to weaken ties between generations. Most at risk are divorced dads who have lost close touch with their children.

How will divorce and remarriage impact adult children of divorce, particularly in terms of spending time with an aging parent? Will adult children of divorce be able to carry out the wishes of an aging parent if a second (or third) spouse is calling all of the shots?

To ensure your aging parents are protected now and in the future, it's important to sit down and have a discussion with your parents about their wishes for the future. If your parent has divorced and remarried, consider having a private discussion with your parent and siblings without the new spouse.

If your parents suffer any reduction in mental capacity as a result of illness or injury, you may lose the legal grounds to oversee their care and financial well-being. That's why it's important to act now, before it's too late.

To prepare for a conversation with your parents, prepare a list of questions and share them with your parents in advance so they know what to expect during the meeting. By focusing the conversation around a structured list of questions, you will be able to extract meaningful answers to sometimes difficult questions.

Here are some suggested questions to ask your parents:

• Do you have a will? If there is no will in place, immediately help your parents develop a will/living will.
• When was the will last updated?
• Who is named in the will?
• Who are the beneficiaries and executors of the estate?
• Have you granted someone durable power of attorney? If so, who has durable power of attorney? If not, have your parents pick someone to be named power of attorney. Explain what power of attorney means, and offer to take on the responsibility. Communicate reservations for having someone else assigned power of attorney.
• Is there a written power of attorney for health care in place?
• Where do you keep important documents such as the will, the written power of attorney, insurance policies and financial statements? If these documents are stored in a safe deposit box, find out where the box is, where the key is for the box and obtain a list of the contents.
• What are your plans for paying for long-term care, if needed?

This initial discussion is an excellent first step toward protecting your parents' future. However, don't stop there. Immediately following the meeting is the time to take action:

• Take the information you've gleaned from the initial meeting and use it to create an action plan (see checklist below).
• Schedule a follow up meeting with an attorney to help your parents resolve any gaps in the plans. Since this is often an adult child's first encounter with estate planning, the attorney will provide helpful and informative support to the action you are taking.
• Schedule a "wrap up" meeting that confirms everything is in place, while giving your parents an opportunity to make additional changes if necessary.

Action Plan Checklist

• Prepare list of items to discuss/ questions to ask your parents.
• Schedule a first meeting with your parents.
• Complete a comprehensive review of your parents' debts and assets (calculate net worth).
• Discuss how your parents want their assets allocated.
• Draft or review the will.
• Name an executor of the will.
• Grant durable power of attorney to someone trusted and reliable.
• Grant medical power of attorney to someone trusted and reliable.
• Confirm that your parents are comfortable with whom they have chosen.
• Review insurance policies (medical, home, auto, life, etc.).
• Decide on the fate of a family business.
• Organize financial records.
• Locate all important documents and organize them in a central location.
• Discuss long-term care options and determine the best solution for your parents.
• Ensure all current and future tax benefits are taken into consideration.
• Schedule an appointment with an estate planner and/or financial planner.
• Schedule a follow-up meeting to secure final plans.
• Follow through to ensure all legal documents have been finalized and notarized.

Understanding your parents' wishes and helping protect their estate and future needs can be time consuming, exhausting and tedious. By planning ahead, you may be able to avoid courtroom battles that involve trying to regain control of your parents' care.

However daunting the task, ensuring your parents' wishes are met when they need it most will prove to be priceless.